Tag: doula

Doula Realities

Photo by Jovis Aloor on Unsplash

Many people dream of helping families as a doula, and I get all kinds of people reaching out to me about what it is actually like to be a doula full-time. I am hosting a DONA approved birth doula training here in Evansville at the very end of February (that you can sign up for here), so these messages are most definitely more frequent right now. I absolutely LOVE my job and wouldn’t want to do anything else, but this is most definitely not the right fit for everyone. I want people to know what they are getting into, and some of the harsher realities of doula life.

Being a birth doula is tough. Yes, it is really rewarding and sometimes exciting and beautiful, but the reality of it can be really hard. Being on call can be rough, especially needing childcare at any moment (if you have kids) and having to drop your life to go help someone else. All of your plans end in, “as long as I’m not at a birth” and you have to plan your time out so carefully if you want to leave town, not to mention have a really great back-up doula to cover your clients just in case someone goes into labor unexpectedly. Not planning your calendar in advance or paying attention to when potential clients are due before they hire you means that you could be on call for 6 months straight, and that is NOT easy or fun.

Being on call can be one of the hardest parts of the job; I’ve even heard doulas say that they would attend births for free but really want to be paid for the trouble of being on call for possibly 4 weeks straight. Being on-call means that I have a client who is within their due window (38-42 weeks pregnant), and that I can’t do some things like leave town or drink alcohol. When I am on-call I have to have my doula bag ready. I have my doula clothes in a neat pile waiting for the call to come join my clients. I can’t go to bed without making sure my phone is turned up and ready, and I can’t be far from my phone at all ever really. It is impossible to predict when someone will go into labor, believe me that if I could, I would be a VERY rich person. If you want a completely predictable work schedule, then you should not be a birth doula.

I think the biggest mistake people make is treating doula work like it isn’t a job. It is a definite job and if you want to be successful at it, you have got to work at it like any good business owner! This means networking, marketing, accounting, legal paperwork, records, etc. If you want to do doula work as a hobby and aren’t looking to own a business, that is ok too. About half the people who take the birth doula training don’t even really want to run their own business or be a professional doula. Whether you are running your own doula business or just helping friends, if you are calling yourself a doula, you have GOT to be professional.  That means working within the doula scope of practice and not causing a ruckus at the hospital because of unprofessional behavior. Your professional behavior reflects on all doulas, especially at the local level. I know that Robin will be covering all of this in the training here, so come learn!

I do not tell you all of the above to scare you, rather because I want everyone considering becoming a doula to really understand what they are getting into for their future. A great doula is an organized planner who is resourceful and empathetic with a good support system. Take a look in the mirror and really contemplate if this is the right path for you. If none of the above things have scared you away from wanting to do doula work, then you should definitely sign up for the upcoming training in Evansville. This is only the 2nd time Evansville has ever had a doula training located here, and we probably won’t have another one until 2020! Being a doula is one of the most rewarding and amazing jobs I could have ever dreamed of doing, and I sincerely love it with all my heart. I also sincerely believe that this area needs more doulas! Could that be you?

As Your Doula

I work for you.  I will give you all kinds of information about your birth options.  I will talk to you about your goals for your birth.  I will do research about anything I do not know, and come back to you with all the evidence I can find.  I will be there for you if you need to ask any questions during your pregnancy.  I will be almost as excited about your impending labor as you are.  I will wait anxiously by the phone for the call that might come in the middle of the night to come and join you while you are in labor.  I will come to your house, if you want to keep laboring at home or are birthing there.  I will follow you to the hospital or meet you as you arrive. I will hold your hand and tell you that everything is going normally, if it is.  I will decode any medical-speak you don’t understand and make sure that you are making informed decisions about your care.  I will squeeze your hips and try all my tricks to help you stay as comfortable as possible during your labor. I will call the nurse to give you your bolus of fluids for your epidural if that is what you want.  I’ll suggest position changes and help you move into them.  I will make you go to the bathroom every hour during labor. I will be there with you the entire time.  I will help guide you through the entire process, and I will love every minute of it.

I want for you to have the birth that you want to have.  I don’t care if you get an epidural; I still have ways that I can help you. If you don’t want an epidural, I know how to get you there too.  I want you to leave your birth feeling fulfilled.  I want you to feel like you accomplished something, because having a baby is a MAJOR accomplishment no matter how it happens.  I want you to feel like you were supported in every decision you made along the way, and that you had all the information to make each one.   I want for you to be happy with your birth, exactly how it happened, no matter if it was to plan or not.  I want so much for you to completely exhilarated and excited about your birth, so much so that you can’t wait to tell the story to anyone that will listen.

I believe that birth is amazing.  There is nothing more exciting than getting to watch a new baby come earth-side.  Getting to be a part of that process is what makes the job of a doula so rewarding.  I believe in this work and its value.  I believe that this job makes a difference not only in the lives of the women we serve, but also in all those that we touch through our service: the nurses and other hospital staff, the physicians, the midwives, the family members, and the friends. I believe that one birth at a time, I am making a difference in the way that birth is viewed and approached.  Most of all, I believe that this work is my passion.

Doulas make a difference.  Doulas everywhere want to change birth one mother at a time. Doulas are evidence-based.