Every single birth I attend is an opportunity to serve a family. I am always honored to be invited into that space. With more than 5 years under my belt as a birth doula, I still feel like I learn things each time. Even as I inch closer to 150 births attended, I am always in awe of the process and my amazing clients. I will never feel like I have seen it all, and this year definitely brought some surprises. Instead of posting statistics about how many births I have attended, I prefer to post about doula lessons that I have learned this past year. Some of these have reinforced things I learned previously, and others have challenged me in new ways. This year has been interesting in so many ways, and I love that I keep growing and learning along the way.
Here is my list of 15 doula lessons in no particular order:
1. In childbirth, faster is not always easier.
2. I don’t have to agree with all of your decisions to support you.
3. A little determination goes a very long way for labor and delivery.
4. Communication and trauma informed care are not taught to all medical providers.
5. Rice socks smell like burnt popcorn if you microwave them for too long.
6. Home birth can be beautiful beautiful beautiful! Make sure to remind people to PRACTICE with their birthing tub at home!
7. Things I may view as traumatic, may not be viewed the same as my client. Don’t project my views onto other people’s memories. Recovering from a challenging birth is really important for me, physically AND emotionally.
8. Sometimes I burst into tears at the magnificence of it all, and that is ok.
9. Repeat clients are seriously, just the best! VBACs are pretty amazing too.
10. Watch the partner’s face; those glimpses of true joy and love are amazing!
11. LISTEN to the birthing person; their opinion matters.
12. Sometimes clients still surprise me with their ferocity, and I LOVE that!
13. Amazing providers who give individualized care and continue to consider experience and preference over standard operating procedure give me hope! All the preparation in the world cannot make up for an unsupportive provider.
14. Trusting my doula gut when it says GO is still the right thing to do.
15. Patience is undervalued and wholly necessary.
2019’s doula lessons were not easy, and this is certainly not going to be a year that I will soon forget. As I grow in my doula knowledge and skills I am also constantly reminded of how much I really don’t know. These doula lessons all help to increase my confidence and capacity to deal with new situations, hopefully with grace and humility.