Our thinking brains like to imagine that our hearts and feelings don’t influence the way our body or brain works, but it is so wrong. Your emotions affect so many things, and keeping that in mind when you are going through pregnancy, labor, delivery, & all throughout postpartum can be a little daunting. For me, protecting my emotional health during that time felt like one more thing that I didn’t have time to worry about really. First, let’s talk about why your emotions matter and a few things that may challenge you during this time. I promise, this blog post is going to end with some helpful ways to keep your peaceful mindset, because we all need some extra tools to handle this whole wildly human experience.
Because of Hormones
Your hormones are little messengers that run around your body telling it what to do. They are really important for pregnancy, labor & delivery, & postpartum for so many reasons, but I’m going to outline two big ones here. The first thing they do for you in labor and postpartum is they keep things going. Anxiety & stress produce hormones that make your labor slow or even stop, and does the same for your milk production. The giant flood of hormones you get during labor and early postpartum also means we remember MORE and in greater detail. Seriously, ask anyone who has given birth about their story, and they will share far more details than you can even imagine even MANY years later. There are all kinds of evolutionary reasons that our bodies have adapted to do this by the way, because we’re mammals. Anxiety & stress produce these hormones because if we were an animal giving birth in the wild and a predator started stalking us, then we would WANT our bodies to stop labor so we could get up and run away. (Also a reason for animals to eat their placentas–to hide the evidence.) The distinctly human part of this is that our anxiety & stress can be triggered by all kinds of things, including just thoughts inside our amazing brains or even just a sideways look from someone.
Challenges
There are all kinds of things that can increase our likelihood of our anxiety and stress being triggered in labor, delivery, and early postpartum. Things like a lack of privacy & interruptions in your flow can inhibit your ability to relax and for your body to make the hormones to keep your contractions going. People with a history of abuse, assault, or other trauma can really feel their stress hormones escalate in labor and delivery, which is another reason that trauma informed care is sooo very important. Bright lights, strange noises, & smells can all bring those stress hormones whooshing around our bodies. No matter what your specific challenges are to keeping calm and relaxed, developing the tools you need before you have to use them will help you meet any challenges that might arise!
Tools to Help
Don’t be shy about asking for what you need to feel better during labor and postpartum. Keeping the lights low in your room can be really helpful for decreasing anxiety & making a space more cozy. Some people bring twinkle lights to hang up or a tapestry to hang to make the space more their own too. You can even bring a sleep mask and earplugs if they help you. I always suggest packing your own pillow and blanket to make the space smell and feel more like home too, and keeping your partner close definitely helps some people relax more. You can make a sign for the door to remind people who enter to please use hushed voices and respect the energy in the room. Nothing ruins your flow more than someone walking in and talking loudly while you’re just trying to get through your contractions or trying to get your fussy baby to latch. Protect your space and communicate your needs, and if you need some help with that, a doula might be someone to consider adding to your birth or postpartum team.
You can’t live in a bubble, but you can hold space for yourself for this profoundly human experience of bringing a new baby into the world. Developing tools such as breathing techniques, body awareness, meditation, self-hypnosis, & grounding techniques can help you not only stay calm for labor and delivery, but also for postpartum. Psst, these techniques even work for parents to teenagers—ask me how I know. With 20 minutes a day of calming practice, you can learn to bring your nervous system back to calm and keep those good hormones flowing. Your feelings matter!