Childbirth – Doula Group of Evansville

3 Things I Wish I Knew

Learning the hard way has always kinda been my thing. I have a kid who takes the same approach to life, and it is soo incredibly frustrating to witness. Looking back, there are several things I really wish I knew going into my first pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. I really tried to inform myself as much as possible, and honestly I maybe read too much–partly reflected in the B I got in one of my grad school classes the semester I found out I was pregnant–though all the vomiting & napping surely didn’t help that either. Some of these hindsight observations might surprise you!

Approach Matters

I wish I knew the difference between the obstetric & midwifery approaches to prenatal care. While my friends were getting 5-10 minutes with their OBs, I was getting 30 minute talks with my midwife about all of my worries so that they had a whole picture of my life and not just some measurements and numbers in a chart. My friends who had family practice doctors for their care had much more similar experiences to mine with the midwives too, and for low-risk pregnancies some family practice doctors are amazing. Finding a provider that you’re comfortable with and who you don’t dread seeing is probably the most important part though, regardless of what model of care they practice.

Expectations?

I wish I knew that giving birth inside a hospital could be an amazing experience. I read and heard ALL the horror stories about getting run over by the system. I walked into my birth fully armed with all the information and ready for a fight to get the birth I wanted. I ended up having the most supportive team around me including my amazing nurse, my midwife, my doula, and even the supervising OB who stopped by for my whole pushing stage and whose words frankly got me through to the end. I will fully own my privilege and say that being a middle class presenting, white, fairly attractive & fit person (at the time anyway)–all of those things signaled different things to the people in the room on how to treat me. But I didn’t expect everyone to be so kind and supportive of my plan to give birth without medication or intervention in a hospital whose reputation is a “baby factory” known for high intervention rates in the area. The support afterwards with lactation was also so great. I wish more people would talk about their GREAT experiences too.

Right Way?

I wish I knew that there was no one right way to do all of this. My first time around, I was searching for what the RIGHT way to do things was. The lesson I continually come back to with parenting and birth and all of it, is that there is no one right way. I would have spent so much more time thinking about what was right for me and my family and my baby and the situation we were in at the time regarding finances, location, information, ability, capacity, etc. I stressed myself out to the point of exhaustion trying to find the “right” way, when I truly wish I had spent more time focusing inward and figuring out where & who to ask the questions when they came up later.

When you look back on your pregnancy, birth, & postpartum, what did you learn through hindsight? Are there things that you would do differently? If this is your first time, I urge you to take the 20 years perspective and think about how important some things that you might be fighting for right now, might actually be in the grand scheme of things too. As a doula, I can say that how you remember this will stay with you for the rest of your life. Your experience matters, so find what is important to you and surround yourself with people who share your values and approach to things. What would you add?

If you are wondering where to get started in your journey through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, we have a resource just for you! Grab our free EBook written to help take the worry out of the beginning. Ready to talk about adding a doula to your team? Book a FREE 30 minute call to talk about who on our team might be the right fit for you. We also offer a FREE Biweekly newsletter with ideas, news, & resources open to anyone. We truly do want our experience to help improve yours!

Meet Birth Doula Eliza Brock

Eliza is trained & ready to help you have your best birth!

My first impression of Eliza was a recognition of a kindred spirit. She is incredibly genuine and earnest, and smiles easily. She didn’t balk at all when I mentioned our non-negotiables and came to our first meeting with well thought-out questions, especially for someone who was brand new to doula stuff. She is thoughtful and observant, and all of these traits will serve her greatly in her new role as a birth doula on our team at Doula Group of Evansville.

Eliza has spent the last nine years growing up with her big family in Newburgh, Indiana. She currently still lives in Newburgh with her fiance and two cats. She has worked as a patient care technician in pediatrics and has a passion for working with families and their children. Working as a doula is a career that she knew she wanted to pursue when she took child development in high school. Learning about the intricacy of families and their birth experiences inspired her to apply her knowledge to help others in her community as a doula. With a little experience, she’s going to have even more insider information to share with the families in her care too!

Eliza Brock, birth doula

Why did you want to become a doula?

When I started babysitting at a young age I realized I wanted a career working with families and their children. When I took a child development class in high school that solidified my choice to be a birth doula!

What do you love about living in Evansville?

I love all the local events that happen here and bring the community together for a fun time!

Where can we find you on a regular Saturday?

When it’s warm outside I love being outdoors with my fiancé!

Eliza has completed her training and is now working toward her certification. To that end, she is offering 1/2 off her birth doula services for her first 3 clients! Don’t wait; these will surely go fast.

Click here to book now!

Welcome to the team Eliza! We’re so excited to help you get started on your doula journey. The best part of working on a team of doulas: you’re never alone just winging it trying to figure out all the things yourself. Eliza has the most experienced team of doulas behind her helping every step of the way. I know she’s going to be an AMAZING doula for every family she serves!!

Childbirth Education Promotes Partnership

A quality childbirth education class can help you have a more symbiotic relationship with your chosen birthing location.

In Finding Nemo, Marlin explains to his son Nemo that rubbing his body on the sea anemone that is their home helps make sure that the anemone won’t sting them when they go in and out of its tentacles. The anemone usually stings its prey before devouring it, but has a symbiotic (friendly) relationship with the clown fish that uses the anemone as their home. The clown fish get protected from other predators and the anemone gets some essential nutrients from the clown fish, all because they come together to change each others’ skin microbiome (read more science-y stuff here). What does this all have to do with learning about giving birth to human babies in childbirth education courses? I’ll tell you three ways!

1. Expectations

Knowing what to expect, especially from something that could sting you, really helps you be more satisfied with the process. Going into birth without knowing what to expect can set you up to get shocked by all the things that can and do happen. No matter where you are planning to give birth, setting your own expectations for how things could go is going to help you be better at going with the flow of birth. Taking a quality childbirth education course helps you and your partner work together better on the big day, and helps you partner with your provider because you anticipate what is coming next. Being knowledgeable about the process eases anxiety for some people too, and that’s a great thing.

2. Needs

The clown fish and anemone each give something needed to each other in their partnership; it benefits them both. Understanding the needs that you will have in labor and how the people around you can help meet them is part of any great childbirth education class. How do you like to be touched during stressful times if at all? How do you communicate your needs to your partner when you can’t speak? What are the needs of your hospital/birth center/birth team when you arrive as far as paperwork, blood work, exams, etc? Knowing before you go or before your team arrives to your house for your delivery, helps everyone be on the same page. The better the understanding of needs for everyone in the room, the better the partnership. An excellent childbirth education course can help everyone get their needs met when it comes to the big day, and even afterwards

3. Learn from Others’ Experience

How do clown fish learn to rub themselves on the anemone to not get stung? They learn from other fishes experience. (Though clearly someone had to be the first fish to figure this out and also first human to give birth, but I think you get what I’m trying to say here.) Certified childbirth educators are experienced not only in teaching childbirth education, but also in adult learning principles and techniques. Having taught both children and adults, I can say that without a doubt, they are NOT the same! Learning from an experienced and independent childbirth educator means that their content is not only evidence-based but they can also teach you about ALL the options, even those that aren’t as common (or even offered) in different birthing locations or with different providers.

When you are expecting a baby, taking a quality childbirth education course is a real must. Taking a childbirth education class promotes a lovely symbiotic relationship & helps you know who to navigate the twists and turns of labor and delivery together. In 2024, the Doula Group of Evansville will be offering in-person childbirth education courses again!! I’ll be announcing dates soon, so be on the lookout!!

Something Stinks!

Do you have a super sniffer during pregnancy? Why? How do you cope with it?

Pregnancy can be really challenging when all of a sudden your sense of smell seems to be supercharged. For many people, super-smell is one of the first symptoms that they notice in their first trimester. When I was pregnant with my first child, I had an immediate reaction if anyone in my midwife’s waiting room was wearing perfume. YUCK! All of a sudden my husband smelled like he was a bathing in sausage water and walking into our pantry would instantly make me run to the sink. When my husband brought me a beautiful bouquet of stargazer lilies that I used to LOVE, I couldn’t even walk into the house with them there. Your sense of smell makes a huge difference in what you eat and how well you can keep the contents of your stomach inside of you too.

Why??

I found this article that reviewed all the scientific evidence about pregnancy and the sense of smell. What we know from science is that most people (90%) report having a sudden repulsion to certain smells, while only 10% find any smells better than when they weren’t pregnant. There are several theories as to why, the leading one which seems to be that it possibly helps you avoid toxins to protect the growing baby inside of you. They even gave people pregnancy hormones to try to see if it was hormonally related, and the results weren’t very conclusive. Another study summarized there didn’t find any heightened sense of smell in their participants between first trimester and postpartum. The author of course also adamantly notes that an abundance of anecdotal evidence exists to support increased olfactory senses during pregnancy, and suggests further research into the phenomenon. There are plenty of other theories, but no true abundance of evidence points to one simple explanation why 2/3 of people report super-smellers during pregnancy.

What Can You Do?

Stink happens, but how can you really deal with ALL the smells that make you want to hold your nose? I personally took a page out of the Victorian era playbook: I kept something good smelling in my pocket. This could be a favorite lip balm, a handkerchief with some essential oils on it, or even a vapor inhaler if that menthol smell is still appealing to you. Wearing a tight fitting N95 mask is another option that we should all be familiar with now too. I knew one friend who suffered so much with Hyperemesis Gravidarum that she actually kept alcohol wipes in her pocket in case a wave of nausea overtook her. Trying to keep track of all the smells that are terrible isn’t honestly worth your time though, because they could change and you’re sure to encounter some unexpectedly. Be prepared, and don’t be shy about keeping emesis bags in your car and purse in case you need them. Maybe your super sniffer would feel better going to somewhere that will 100% smell good, like a spa?

Rest assured, most people report that their super sniffer skills fade when they aren’t pregnant anymore. I promise you that my husband doesn’t still smell like he’s sweating sausage water and grandma perfume doesn’t make me instantly hurl anymore. Some aversions might stick with you, like I still can’t smell stargazer lilies, despite the fact that I really do think they are beautiful. I also can’t eat saltines anymore, but that has nothing to do with smell and more to do with the memory associated with eating far too many in my first trimester. You may be too busy changing diapers to even notice when your sense of smell goes back to normal, but you will 100% appreciate that fact when your baby starts eating solids and their poo changes smells again.

Welcome Doula Abigail Hand!

When most doulas join our team, they are just starting out on their journey, which is humbling to be trusted to help them get started. However, Abigail brings a very different set of seasoned hands and skills to the team, and I’m honestly honored that she is going to join our already awesome group of doulas. Not only has Abigail already attended more than 100 births as a doula, but she’s also done most of that outside of the United States! Abigail’s patience and fascination with all things birth was apparent from the first time we spoke, and her Christian faith is also an important part of her life. She’s impressively knowledgeable and compassionate, as well as a little goofy, so clearly she’s going to fit right in on our team.

In Her Own Words:

Abigail was born in Evansville. Grew up in Indiana then spent 8.5 years living in Australia and Asia working as a Birth Doula and trained Midwife. Mid 2022 Abigail moved back to Indiana and made her home in Evansville. Abigail enjoys teaching about pregnancy, birth, and caring for your newborn. She is always up for a laugh and regularly is attempting new nutritious recipes. Her passion for caring, supporting, and nurturing women has grown throughout the years as she has witnessed women from many cultural backgrounds lean on her for support and wisdom throughout their pregnancy and as they enter into motherhood.

Why did you want to become a birth doula?

When I saw the beauty, joy, and pain of a baby entering the world 14 year ago, I knew I wanted to support women through this vulnerable and transforming time in their lives.

What do you love about living in Evansville?

Honey + Moon Coffee Shop, Bike Riding Lanes, and the River.

Where can we find you on a regular Saturday?

Spending time outdoors with my Husband.

Abigail is available!!

If you are due September 2023 or later and giving birth within an hour drive of Evansville, IN, Abigail is available to be your birth doula! Abigail has extensive experience supporting both hospital and home birth clients. Working part-time as a midwifery assistant does take up some of Abigail’s time, but she’s really excited to jump into birth doula work in Evansville, Jasper, Vincennes, Washington, Henderson, Owensboro, & Madisonville too. If you see her around town, make sure you tell her welcome back to Evansville. We’re so lucky she’s here and excited to have her join Doula Group of Evansville too.

5 Things to Pack for Your Hospital Birth

Packing for the hospital when you are expecting a baby can feel a little daunting. Sure, you want to pack the essentials like an outfit for your baby to wear home and the car seat, what do you really need to pack for yourself? I’ve had some clients bring only their purse and others who look like they are moving abroad for year with giant suitcases full of stuff. Neither of those approaches are really my style, but there are a few essentials that you might not think about when it comes to packing your bags for your hospital birth. These are my top five:

Lip Balm

All that breathing in labor can make your lips dry. Kissing your baby’s head a million times can make your lips dry. All the talking you are going to be doing to all the people coming in and out of your room and on the phone telling everyone how amazing your baby is, that will make your lips dry too. Indoor air is dry, especially in a hospital. Trust me! Bring the lip balm.

Your Own Pillow & Blanket

While your first reaction to bringing your own pillow and blanket into a hospital might be ick, this one is essential. Pillows can sometimes be hard to find in a hospital, and their blankets are not exactly known for being fuzzy and soft. Bringing your own pillow and blanket also has the extra added bonus of helping your room feel more like your own, and smelling like home helps your body actually feel safer too. Thank you olfactory senses & pheromones! Comfort is important during your stay, and I promise that your washing machine has a disinfect cycle that you can use on the pillow and blanket when you get them back home.

Cheap Nightgown & Slippers

One of my doula secrets is that the cheap nightgowns that button or snap up in the front are seriously awesome for the hospital. Pants aren’t great because of needing to pull them down all the time for your nurse to check your bleeding, and if you have a surgical birth you will constantly worry about the waistband. Easy access to your chest is essential, so definitely something to look for when you are shopping for a nightgown. I also recommend not purchasing anything you actually really love, because you want to not feel bad for getting bodily fluids on it and maybe just throwing it away. Slippers are just nice for your feet to not have to touch the hospital floor. I don’t know about you, but I definitely feel like I have to relax when I’m wearing slippers too.

Snacks

Yes, the hospital will have food for you, but packing your own snacks can help bring you comfort too. Have a favorite road trip snack? Pack it! Have a snack you’ve been craving your whole pregnancy? Pack it! Planning an unmedicated birth and having a healthy pregnancy? Pack some snacks to eat & drink during labor too! Yes, seriously!

Nursing Bra & Pads

No matter how you are planning to feed your baby, you will want to bring a nursing bra and some pads. If you are planning to breastfeed, then having access to the breast is essential, and the nightgown is only part of the deal. The nursing bra is not entirely essential, but I personally always liked to have one for when I slept. I really like this one from Kindred Bravely, but there are tons of really great options. I also always appreciated having the absorbent pads to put in my bra, because when my milk came in it was full force. If you are planning to formula feed, a tight bra and some pads will help keep your milk at bay. You can also talk to the lactation consultants about other ways to dry up your milk with medications. (Yes, they do that too.) Having a bra on also helped me feel more comfortable with all the people who were constantly coming in and out to check on me in the hospital. That’s just a personal preference thing.

Figuring out what to pack for your hospital birth doesn’t have to be overwhelming. There are tons of packing lists that you can find online if you like a good list. These are the 5 essentials that not everyone thinks about bringing. The nice thing is that even if you forget something, either the hospital will have it for you, or you can send someone to the store to grab it. Heck, you could even have it delivered. Packing a little something nice for yourself, like delicious smelling shampoo for the best shower you’ve ever had in your life, the one after you give birth, is also a great idea. Pack the things you think you’ll need, and I promise, you’ll probably bring less with you the next time.

3 Ways Doulas Support Partners

Your doula will never know you as well as your partner. Some partners don’t want to hire a doula because they are concerned that we might replace them. That is frankly never the goal of our doulas, though there have been a few times when we’ve had to step in because a partner couldn’t be there for multiple reasons. The truth is that hiring a doula helps support partners too. I’ve supported clients whose partners were in the birth pool squeezing their hips and others whose partners had to hide their eyes during their entire labors because everything medical made them nauseous. I’ve caught dads who passed out at the sight of blood and helped others find better places to stand for camera angles. Here are the top 3 ways that doulas help partners.

Knowledge

Doulas help partners know what is going on in the birth room and during postpartum. We answer all kinds of questions like: is that normal? Is everything ok? What’s going on? Why are they suggesting that? Where should we go for help? Our doula knowledge helps not only reassure partners, but also help them ask good questions too. We suggest resources specifically for partners to learn if they’re interested. All Doula Group of Evansville packages come with access to Supporting Her (a $69 value) an online class specifically designed with partners in mind, because we know you want to know how to be the best support you can be too!

Practical Support

Partners need physical support too! I’ve seriously massaged more than one dad’s shoulders during the course of a long labor, and reminded more partners to pee than I can count. We help partners find pillows and towels in the hospital room, or make sure they know when a good time to sneak to the cafeteria to eat would be. We help you know where to press on their back when contractions come and remind you to hydrate too. Postpartum doulas will teach you the best swaddle and bring you a one-handed snack while you’re rocking in the chair with your newborn. Doulas are the extra set of hands that anticipate everyone’s needs!

Emotional Support

I’ve waited outside the doors to the operating room with anxious worried partners waiting to be called back. I’ve hugged a sobbing father whose baby was born sleeping, and handed more tissues to silently crying and ecstatic partners. I’ve reassured frustrated partners that yes, they can and should speak up when they’re not getting the answers or care they need. This holding space for partners is a dance that we know and prepare for as doulas. This is one of the reasons we want to meet with you and your partner before birth and postpartum; getting to know you and your wishes helps us help you better.

Doulas help partners participate and engage however they want and are able to. We never try to step on partner toes, literally or figuratively! We love all kinds of partners and know each family is unique. Having a doula on your team can help you have a better experience too. When you’re ready, we’re here to support your whole family from your wet pregnancy test all the way through the 4th trimester.

A little anecdote for you: pre-COVID, I taught a 3 hour class on natural coping techniques for labor and delivery. I had been talking to this awesome pregnant mom who really wanted to hire me as her birth doula but her husband didn’t want to spend the money, and they came to my class. After 3 hours, her husband was 100% convinced that they definitely needed to hire me as their doula. Unfortunately, I was already booked for their due date, but I know they had an awesome birth anyway. If you’re on the fence about hiring a doula, reach out to set up a FREE consult together. We’d love to chat!

Don’t Worry, Be Picky

Choosing a care provider that fits isn’t always easy.

After the shock of the positive pregnancy test wears off a little bit, one of the first things you will need to decide is WHO you are going to have as your care provider for this pregnancy and birth. If you’re like me, you start by asking your friends who they used for their pregnancies, and then you make an appointment. Other people make an appointment with their usual GYN and leave it at that. Here are a few things you want to think about when you’re choosing a provider:

Does their idea of birth align with yours?

All providers have ideas about birth based on their training and experience (both professional and personal btw). Generally, OBs are watching to make sure nothing goes wrong and midwives are watching to make sure everything goes right. While that may not sound like a huge difference, I urge you to think about what their expectations might be with each of those approaches. OBs are generally looking to DO something to help while midwives are looking to NOT have to do anything to help. This is a really broad generalization, but an important distinction when you’re thinking about the kind of care that you’re looking for, and the same answer isn’t right for everyone. Think about your specific situation and how you’d like to approach birth. Research has shown, that the provider you choose can make a difference in how your baby comes out in case you didn’t know that already. Here are a few things you might want to know your provider’s attitude about:

Weight Gain: What limits do they have for you? When do they get concerned about baby’s weight in utero?
Ultrasound: How many & when? Why?
Induction: When? Why? How?
Questions: When & where can you ask them? How long are usual appointments?
Schedule: How often are you on call? Who do you share call with? Surgery days?

Location AND Provider Matter

Many times your insurance will dictate which hospital or group of providers they will cover. Look at some of the stats for the location where you’re planning to delivery. You won’t be able to look at provider specific data, but you can definitely ask potential providers their cesarean and episiotomy rates by the way. What about their induction rates? All of these things add up to the way that pregnancy and birth are handled at an institutional level. Is birth handled like an emergency no matter what? Is the staff trained in trauma-informed care? What does it look like to arrive in labor and to go through triage? Can you get a tour before the big day? You’ll have plenty of unexpected things to navigate during your pregnancy and birth, but the location and your treatment shouldn’t honestly be one of them. What are their policies about eating and drinking during labor? What kind of pain relief options do they have? Is anesthesia on site at all times? Do they support VBAC?

This can all seem really overwhelming, especially to first time parents that haven’t ever had to deal with any of these questions. Maybe you’re still trying to figure out how YOU feel about these things before you even can have an opinion about how your provider does. That’s ok, seriously. As doulas, we want you to feel ready to make these decisions. We want to give you all the information you might need to figure out how YOU want to approach pregnancy and birth without any bias. This is one of the reasons we highly recommend a quality childbirth education course for everyone by the way.

Not the vibe?

Finally, it needs to be said that if a provider isn’t the right fit for you, then it’s ok to move on and find someone else. You have NO OBLIGATION to stay with a provider just because you’ve established care or even because you’ve been seeing them since you were a teenager for GYN services. Chances are, they’re so busy they may not even realize you’ve stopped coming to them. Also of note: YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO SWITCH AT ANY TIME, including during labor. You are under ZERO obligation to be cared for by anyone who is not the right fit. You have the right to fire them on the spot and ask for someone else, yes, seriously…including your nurse btw. While that might sound scary, so is being cared for by someone you don’t trust during labor and delivery! You’re the boss applesauce, and if anyone in your space makes you feel anything other than that, you can make a change at any time!

Choosing a provider doesn’t have to be overwhelming. This is one of the things we cover in our FREE E-Book: Getting Started. We also talk about this stuff with all of our clients. Even if you have a limited pool to choose from, we can talk to you about our experiences with different providers. Yes, we do have a list of providers we won’t work with too, and we’re happy to tell you who they are if you ask! You deserve the best, no matter what your skin color, income, or insurance situation is. Demanding better options and hitting the bad providers in the pocketbook is the only way we’re going to make change here, clearly.

Is your Cervix ready?

Preparing your cervix for birth might be something to think about and discuss with your provider.

The cervix is the narrow passage at the lower end of the uterus that changes to open and allow the baby (or babies and hopefully the placenta[s] too) to come out for a vaginal birth. Your cervix has a whole bunch of changing to do to get that to happen, including thinning out (effacement), moving from pointing toward your back to your front (posterior to anterior), and opening from 0cm dilation to 10cms. That’s a whole lot of change to happen in a relatively short amount of time for most people. But cervixes can also be confusing, especially when you’re trying to determine if you’re ready to give birth or not. Here are 3 consternating things about cervixes that you might not know!

1. Checks

Checking your cervix is a really common thing for providers to want to do in the office before you ever go into labor. Practices vary as to when this happens, BUT what we do know is that your cervix is NOT a crystal ball. Checking your cervix when you aren’t in labor isn’t necessary, especially if you are planning to wait to go into labor on your own. If you’re planning an induction, getting a cervical exam in the office is a great thing to do so you can talk about your Bishop Score with your provider. If you’re planning to wait, then saying “no thanks” is perfectly ok, as is just keeping on your pants.

Cervical checks when you are in labor are fairly standard. All the hospitals where we attend births require a cervical exam when you arrive to confirm that you are indeed in labor. It is really common to think that you’re in labor, when in fact your cervix isn’t changing at all. Since labor is defined as contractions that cause cervical change, that is why checking your cervix helps confirm this. I have of course seen people have babies without ever getting their cervix checked, mostly at home births and once at a hospital birth where the baby was pretty much born right after the clients arrived, but you should definitely expect to have your cervix examined by someone’s fingers when in labor.

2. Changes

Contractions commonly help your cervix change, BUT there are all kinds of factors that go into when and how your cervix changes. Some people have a cervix that doesn’t like to stay closed. The terrible medical term for this is “incompetent cervix.” Many people with this issue have a medical procedure called a cerclage to hold their cervix together until their baby is developed enough to be born. On the opposite end of that spectrum are people who have had a LEEP procedure. Often times those people have consistent powerful contractions yet struggle to realize change in their cervical dilation due to the buildup of scar tissue from that procedure. There are all kinds of other changes that can cause changes to your cervix to either speed up or slow down such as having had multiple previous births or other cervical procedures. These are definitely something to consider when you are thinking about your birth plan and when you’re preparing your body for birth.

3. Taking Charge

Have I peaked your interest? Did you know there are actually things that you can do to help get your cervix ready for labor? Evening Primrose oil capsules have been shown to help ripen your cervix and shorten the length of the first stage of labor. If you have scar tissue on your cervix, after a LEEP procedure for example, you can also talk to your provider about cervical massage for preparation and during labor too. These are just two of the methods that we know help people take charge of their cervical change before it even has a chance to hinder them.

The other thing we always suggest for people: educate yourself. If you don’t know what all the numbers that are being thrown around you in labor are because you didn’t get a chance to learn before, ASK! The people caring for you WANT you to know what’s going on so you can be an active participant in your care. Your cervix doesn’t have to be one more confusing thing about having a baby. It isn’t some cryptic cone that nobody knows anything about, its a body part that we actually understand fairly well. Pssst, even if you aren’t having a baby, your cervix is a pretty cool thing to understand regarding your fertility too. So take charge of your learning and get to know your cervix. You’ll feel so much better prepared to talk to your provider, ask better questions, & know what’s going on when the big birth day comes.

One Size Fits None?

Hospital Gowns are terrible. First there is the fact that they leave your bum hanging out for the whole world to see, but they are also one-size-fits-none! Putting on a hospital gown is symbolic. It strips away your normal role of the clothes that you put on that morning and magically transforms you into a “patient” without any form of individuality or expression. Putting on that gown also visually communicates to anyone in the room what your “role” is there, and honestly strips away more than just your dignity. Studies have shown that when you put on that gown, you also strip away some of your perceived control and feel more vulnerable. What you wear affects how you feel, and it turns out that hospital gowns aren’t likely to make anyone feel powerful or better.

Standard Operating Policies & Procedures

Similar to those gowns, many other policies and procedures in the hospital make people feel bad unnecessarily. Standards are put in place for a reason, but many people have argued that hospital birthing policies and procedures are more often than not written primarily to protect the hospital from liability. That subject is a whole can of worms that I’m not opening right now, but my point to you is this: just because something is standard, doesn’t mean that it is required, evidence based, or that it fits with your plans/desires/wishes. Standard is the mold and you don’t have to try to force yourself into it. You can decline things and say, “no thank you.” Maybe you aren’t planning a “standard” birth or approach to your birth. Maybe your postpartum and parenting plans and priorities are different from your pediatrician’s approach. That’s ok! One size honestly fits NONE and even as a parent with older kids, I still have to be a different parent to each kid.

This is not to say that all Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs) are the exact same at every hospital or birthing location. In fact, we KNOW they aren’t and have seen that in action. A great example is the SOP for eating and drinking during labor. One local hospital doesn’t allow anything other than ice chips during labor, a practice not at all supported by evidence by the way. At another hospital where we attend a births, the labor and delivery nurses there taught me how they make “slushies” for laboring parents out of popsicles. At a 3rd hospital, they have a standard laboring mom tray of snacks and drinks that they bring. What are the policies and procedures where you are delivering? Are they followed all the time?

What size fits you?

There are so many lies that are told to us about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, and one of those is that the standards are in place to protect everyone, evidence based, and enforced equally. I can tell you that is definitely not the case from what I have observed as a doula. In a medical system that is forced to treat patients as consumers though, you do have some power if you decide to hold onto it. If it helps, bring your own gown to wear during labor or go buck naked to remind yourself (and signal to the staff too) that you are not sick and are indeed powerful. It also sends a visual signal that you want something other than the SOP, whether you choose to say anything about it or not. Spend some time finding out what the policy is where you are planning to deliver and what aligns with your approach. Humans are not all the same, and figuring out what size fits your needs and wants is helpful to do before the big day. That is one of the things that doulas do too, help you find what works for you and your family. Keep asking questions and demanding the individualized care that you deserve just for being an awesome human being with a new one in your care.