February is Black History Month, and we will be taking the month to learn about anti-racism for the future as well as black history. We believe that learning about history from the perspectives of those who lived it is important if you can, and we LOVE the amazing resources that are available now in our community as well as nationally. In our line of work, black history is especially important for many reasons, one of which we’ll talk about in this post.
Before 1900, most babies were born at home into the hands of midwives, and the black granny midwives were a massive part of that legacy. In a country that continues to profit off the labor of stolen lives, this legacy of maternal and infant care is one that especially deserves to be celebrated. When chattel slavery was still legal in this country, midwifery was a skill that made a slave more desirable for purchase:
Midwives were the connection between birthing families and the care they needed, and black midwives were often the only people who reach families where they were with congruent care tailored to their needs. That included when the birthing families were still in chains. When the US outlawed the importation of any further slaves, midwives helped usher the souls who would be chained to build our economy too. What a conflicted challenging life they were forced to lead. Even after the end of slavery, black midwives traveled the rural areas that doctors wouldn’t or couldn’t.
When they could, black women continued to help their communities by attending medical school like Dr. Sarah Loguen Fraser who was the 4th African American female doctor in the United States. She specialized in obstetrics and pediatrics, and mentored black midwives too. Black communities held each other together throughout history here in the United States despite exploitation, oppression, and violence.
Black midwives like Susie Cary, and her daughter Amanda Cary Carter after her, continued to help catch the babies in their communities, long after hospital birth became the norm amongst those who could afford it. Eventually, through a concerted public relations campaign that utilized racist tropes (such as dirty and uneducated) traditional black granny midwives were pushed out of practice. There are museum exhibits to explore and books to read now about their history. My to-read list includes these 2 currently: The Archaeology of Mothering & Birthing a Movement.
The most important thing to me about history is that we can learn from it. That means both that we can try to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past, but also that we can benefit from the wisdom of the experience of others. As an anthropologist, I firmly believe that truly understanding history from the viewpoint of the oppressed and those not in power is especially important, and that makes black history top of the list in the United States for so many reasons. I specifically chose the featured image on top there because it is a colorized version of a black and white picture from a time in history that my parents can tell me stories about now; they lived it. History is a weaving together of multiple narratives and artifacts to find the truth in our past, all the while acknowledging that we are still very much impacted by the events we can only read about and observe through these things.
Keep learning. Stay curious. Interrogate your assumptions. We’ll keep doing so too!
We know that the decision to hire a doula can be a BIG one for many families. Maybe you’ve been thinking about it for a long time and trying to decide if adding a doula to your team is something you want to do. Maybe hiring a doula for your birth isn’t really that important to you, but planning to have help around the house and someone to ask all the questions postpartum would be nice. We know hiring a doula is a big investment, but we also know that doulas help not only improve outcomes, but also improve parental stress levels, mental health, & overall confidence.
How does it work?
We have 2 types of doulas on our team: Birth doulas & Postpartum doulas. (One of our doulas does both, for those families that want that continuity of care too.) Our manager, Hillary, talks to every person who inquires about doula services to see what they are looking for and match them with a doula on our team who will be a good fit for that family. She’s kind of like a doula match maker that way. The family then gets to interview the doula to decide if they’d like to work with that doula. Once you make the decision to hire your doula, then we send you a digital contract & invoice. You pay a deposit to reserve your time on your doula’s calendar, sign the contract, & then get access to our online client classroom filled with resources and information for you.
Every doula in the group is mentored by Hillary, who has been a doula here in Evansville, IN since 2014. She’s served at more than 200 births and has been invited to speak about doulas at both our local Evansville hospitals. At this point, she takes less clients so that she can run the business side of things for our group including all the emails, contracts, invoices, website, social media, bookkeeping, outreach, etc. Clients interact with her as the primary point of contact, but then move to interacting with their specific doula for birth and postpartum services.
Birth Doulas
Our birth doulas are phenomenal! Their experience ranges from brand new to very experienced, and they set their own prices. Each and every birth doula client gets two prenatal meetings to get to know their doula, to talk about birth planning & logistics, to practice comfort techniques, & more. Birth doulas are there with you for the big birthing day to help with all the things like movement, deciding when to go to the hospital, handing you things you didn’t ask for yet, suggesting positions, offering information about options, and so much more. After baby is born, birth doulas typically stay for 1-2 hours to help with the initial feeding and bonding time before they skedaddle out of there to give you time alone as a family. Your birth doula will come visit you once more after baby is born to check on you, talk about how things went, and offer any resources that you might need at that time. We might even bring you a little present too. Hiring a doula means you not only have someone to text with random questions throughout your pregnancy, but you also have someone to walk with you for the journey from expecting to beginning. All of our birth doula clients will also be getting a postpartum planning session with one of our postpartum doulas.
Postpartum Doulas
If everyone knew about postpartum doulas, then honestly EVERYONE would hire one! Postpartum doulas come for 3-4 hour daytime shifts to help you with light housework that might be piling up because you’re busy taking care of your new human. They answer questions without any judgement & help with resources if you’re concerned that something isn’t normal. They hold the baby while you shower and help with meal planning too. Postpartum doulas help the family as a whole to transition to having a new baby in the house, because postpartum can be challenging for everyone. So whether you would like an in-home postpartum massage, help with meal planning & grocery orders, someone to look at your surgical scar or help you off the couch, then one of our postpartum doulas would be happy to help. We currently have one postpartum doula who is also able to do overnight shifts for families that would like help throughout the night for feedings & baby care too, so feel free to inquire if that is something you are interested in learning more about. Postpartum doulas are a little big magic and also *ahem* one of the BEST gifts you can get for your friend who already has everything they need for baby and could just use some extra TLC in those first weeks at home.
Don’t Wait
If you’re thinking about hiring a doula, don’t wait! We have an awesome team that is pretty flexible in being able to accommodate all schedules, but sometimes we really do ALL get booked up. July-October are the most busy times of year for us, so definitely reach out early if your due date falls in that range. (In case you’re wondering, September is the most popular birth month in the United States for several reasons.) As I write this, it is June 2022, & we’ve started booking clients into February 2023 already!
Hiring a doula takes some courage, and we know that. We also know that hiring a doula can help the entire process of bringing a new baby into the world feel much more personal and cozy when you have a doula by your side. We’re here to help you navigate it all like a tour guide who’s been down this path many times before. If that sounds like something you’d be interested in exploring, then hiring a doula might be right for you. Reach out to us if you’re interested. You can even see some great videos of our doulas on our YouTube channel before you reach out too!
AND, if hiring a doula isn’t in your comfort zone, we really do try to put out a lot of FREE content on our Instagram & Facebook pages too. Find us there! We have a FREE e-book available here on our website, as well as lots of free blog posts, including this perennial favorite about how to have a good conversation about induction with your provider. Oh yeah, and we do placenta encapsulation too if that is something you want to explore. We want to be a one stop shop for helping expecting families in the tri-state area.
We know that choosing to add a doula to your birth or postpartum team is a pretty big investment for most families, but you won’t regret it! From the time you hire your birth doula all the way through your 4th trimester postpartum, a doula can be there to help you every step of the way. Here are three ways your doula investment pays off for you:
“Is this normal?”
Pregnancy brings a whole lot of aches, pains, and questions about your changing body as you grow another human inside of it. Once you decide to make that doula investment your services begin right then. You get your doula’s phone number and can call or text them with ANY worries or questions you might have. We promise ZERO judgement for any questions, because we’ve probably already heard most of them before too.
We also know that the internet can be an overwhelming place for pregnant people. Not only can you ask your doula all your personal pregnancy, birth, & postpartum questions, but we also have an online classroom for our clients. Our classroom is filled with links, handouts, & even coloring pages that are helpful. We filter the internet, so you don’t have to worry about getting advice from random groups of possibly uninformed fellow parents.
Birth options
Contrary to popular belief, doulas don’t think everyone should have the same kind of birth. Investing in doula services means having someone on your team that wants to know YOU and your specific requests. Doulas invest in your experience, because that is our job on your team! Research has shown that doulas actually spend more time with you than anyone else on your birth team by the way, and that’s a pretty big deal. So whether you want to go without pain medication or want your epidural ASAP, a doula can still help you know all of your options. Doulas start getting to know your preferences during pregnancy and help you move through all those decisions during the entire process of bringing your baby earth-side.
Postpartum resources
Once your baby arrives, your doula doesn’t just ditch you! We have a ton of resources for families once you’re holding that baby. Whether you are looking for lactation information, local professionals that can help you physically recover, or even someone to come help out around the house while you shower, we can doula that. Sure our online classroom has resources for you, but sometimes you just need someone to come over and check on just you. Your birth doula will do just that.
Postpartum doulas are a newer thing here in Evansville, Indiana, but we are here to tell you that this is one doula investment that is going to knock your socks off too. A postpartum doula gives physical, emotional, & information support to families in the 4th trimester. Want someone to come do the dishes, fold your laundry, & give you non-judgmental feeding advice while never asking to hold your baby? That’s what a postpartum doula does.
You’re worth it too!
We know that the price-tag for doula services can leave you with sticker shock. We get it. We hope that this blog post has helped explain a bit of what you are going to get for your doula investment. No two client experiences are going to ever look exactly the same, and that is honestly a great thing. We want to help you have the best experience possible from the time you hire your doula until well after you cuddle your baby for the first time. Your doula will be with you every step of the way as much as you want them to be. The experience of bringing your baby into this world is one that will be with you forever, and hiring a doula who is entirely focused on you means investing in your well-being. We know you’re worth it, and we’d be happy to talk to you about how we might be able to help your family.
Mandy Rodenberg now has her prenatal yoga classes online in a FREE YouTube channel.
So many in-person events have been cancelled during this pandemic, and prenatal yoga has unfortunately been one of them for safety concerns. Mandy Rodenberg turned that lemon into some great lemonade by recording her yoga classes for students to watch and move along with her for FREE on YouTube! The first time I met Mandy, I felt and instant connection with her, and I am certainly not alone. I have had so many clients tell me that her soothing calm voice helped them during their pregnancy, and her prenatal yoga classes are an amazing chance for them to connect with their bodies and their babies. Mandy is a gifted yoga instructor, and all around fantastic human. Mandy let me ask her a few questions, and I think you can see from her answers why so many people love her.
Q & A:
Doula Group of Evansville: Why are you passionate about the restorative and healing properties of yoga practice, especially for the perinatal period?
Mandy: During my 200 hour yoga teacher training in 2009, we were asked to write a paper on ways yoga benefits and heals the body from injury. My teacher at the time allowed me to instead write about how yoga movements ease a mother throughout pregnancy and childbirth. My research solidified my passion for helping bring yoga together with the most life changing and amazing experience a woman will go through. Prenatal yoga will help moms start to understand the connection of mind and body and how and what movements make her body feel safe and nurtured and comfortable. She can use these tools to breath through a tough labor or even preparation for caesarian. She will learn to mother herself.
Doula Group of Evansville: What special training have you taken for prenatal yoga instruction & why is that important?
Mandy: I completed my 200 hour teaching certification in 2010 here in Evansville with Chris Crews as my teacher. Before I was even pregnant, I participated in a prenatal yoga class with another local teacher, Leslie Ward. I began teaching prenatal yoga in 2011, 6 months after giving birth to my daughter. In 2015, when I traveled to visit friends in Denver, Colorado I completed my Prenatal Yoga Certification at Belly Bliss Yoga. The training empowered me to focus on what pregnant mothers CAN do, instead of focusing on what they can’t. The teachers covered more that just the basics of yoga. One taught us about birth trauma and how to listen without taking on the emotions, but witnessing them for her. One afternoon class was all about the benefits of doulas and they put us through a simulation to help us to better understand the empowerment a doula gives the mom. The training was so much more than I expected. Truly though, my best teachers are my pregnant moms. By them reaching out to me, letting me know their own struggles and discomforts, I am able to be a better teacher. I usually teach live classes in 6 week sessions, and no two have been the same in all 5 years. I did also have the pleasure of teaching while I was pregnant with my second child, that was the best.
Mandy Rodenberg, prenatal yoga expert
Doula Group of Evansville: What sparked your interest in creating a YouTube channel to house such awesome resources?
Mandy: My husband, Andrew, and I both teach yoga at several locations here in Evansville. We were both home during the shut down in March and were wondering how we could continue to stay connected to our clients. We decided to try making videos that we could make available to everyone. We have resumed some in-person classes this past summer, but we have some clients that don’t feel safe returning to class. With our videos we hope to stay connected to our clients in hopes they do return to class when they feel safe. My prenatal yoga classes at Deaconess Women’s Hospital have not yet resumed since the shut down. The need to limit the number of people coming into the hospital is paramount to the safety of moms and babies, so all classes have been canceled for the time being. This year has been so stressful for everyone, I knew pregnant moms would need yoga and relaxation now more than ever.
Doula Group of Evansville: How did your own pregnancies, births, and postpartum experience influence your yoga practice?
Mandy: I am an anxious person, and had no idea until my first yoga class. I sat on my mat with my legs crossed and the instructor said to quiet your mind and focus on my breath. I had no idea that I was thinking all of the time. I still struggle with it. That was my biggest challenge with the birth of my first child, just trying to fully relax, to give in. I was fortunate to have great birth experiences with the support of my husband though. My pregnancies were both pretty blissful. I walked 3 miles nearly everyday and practiced my yoga, more so with my first pregnancy for obvious reasons. My second pregnancy I had the wonderful opportunity to teach prenatal yoga to a lovely group of mommas. I loved how we all mothered and supported each other. They would call me afterward to talk about their birth and give me support for my big day, which by the way I was still nervous about even though it was my second birth. My experiences guided me to form a style of yoga that simply focused on learning how to make your own body feel better through movement and relaxation. Sure my practice builds strength and flexibility too, but listening to your own body’s cues is what will help you through your toughest moments in labor, birth, and even motherhood. Yoga has helped me in every aspect of my life, but especially for motherhood. The postpartum period, or fourth trimester was really challenging for me. I realized that I just couldn’t do everything I could before. I think of my yoga practice the same way. I do what I can and when I can’t always roll out my mat, I try to be kind to myself about it. It’s hard. We moms have so much on our plate. I try to live my yoga, by breathing at traffic lights, watching my children play, enjoying nature, and trying to be in this moment.
Doula Group of Evansville: What is your favorite way to connect with clients in a virtual space?
Mandy: I have so far had most of my connections with clients through facebook messenger and posts. It warms my heart to have someone describe to me how they benefited from one of my classes. Comments help me to understand my audience’s needs. You can always click on the like button at the bottom of the screen and subscribe to my channel. Likes show me the most popular videos, and I can make more like them. You can leave me more personalized feedback in the comment section below on each video. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for this opportunity, Hillary to connect with moms. Ladies, you are in good hands with The Doula Group!
Prenatal Yoga Benefits
According to the Mayo Clinic, Prenatal Yoga has the following benefits to practitioners:
improved sleep
reduced stresss and anxiety
increased strength, flexibility, & endurance of muscles needed for childbirth
decreased lower back pain, nausea, headaches, and shortness of breath
Online learning is so quickly becoming the norm, even for childbirth classes. We are looking forward to a time when we can meet in person, but for now, online learning is where it is. We know that you will find Mandy’s YouTube channel a great stand-in until she can resume teaching in-person prenatal yoga classes. Have you tried prenatal yoga?
Keep Calm! Wash Your Hands! Make a Plan. I am too.
You might be worried. Wash your hands. Maybe you are freaking out and wondering what is coming. Wash your hands. Who knew you touched your face so much? Wash your hands! We don’t need panic, we need to have plans for what to do. I have some advice for you, and want to tell you what I’m thinking about as a doula. Also, if you see me, give me an elbow bump!
Keep Calm
What we know is that it seems that pregnancy and birth doesn’t seem to be a big risk factor with regards to transmission of this virus. Special precautions may need to be taken to avoid contracting the virus, so take this time to stay home if you can and be very health conscious. It’s not a bad idea to socially isolate & generally stay away from huge groups of people.
Wash Your Hands
This may seem like a no-brainer, but seriously, do it, and do it well. Test out some new songs to sing for 20 seconds or more. Be thorough & keep your hands away from your face as much as you can. Wash your hands!
Doula Concerns
There are currently no restrictions in place at local hospitals with regards to a doula’s presence at births that I know of, but there are elsewhere. I have contacted all clients close to their due window about this. I have contacted my local professional contacts at the hospital to let them know about my concerns with COVID-19. Doulas should NOT be considered a visitor, but I can’t control if they let me in or not. Pregnant people need to contact their providers and birthing locations. My certifying organization has put out a toolkit for dealing with this COVID-19 issue for doulas. It includes a letter for hospitals & links to other important statements, like this one from the Association of Women’s Health Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses on 3/11/2020.
I will be doing my normal precautions for staying healthy. I am certainly open to being extra cautious when I go to a birth. Some doulas have had to wear masks, hair nets, gowns, shoe covers, and gloves. I would be fine with that. I will support clients virtually via Zoom or something else if necessary, but I sincerely hope it doesn’t come to that.
Bottom Lines:
Keep calm. Keep growing that baby. Make some contingency plans, and hope you never have to use them. Wash your hands!
Evansville needs midwives to support healthy birthing families!
Southwest Indiana needs midwives, and the lack of them here is surprising. It is frustrating for me as a doula for several reasons. Our area deserves to have midwifery options, especially as midwifery care has proven benefits for patient satisfaction, cost, and birth outcomes.
What does the landscape look like for people searching for midwifery care here? We currently have two Certified Professional Midwives that travel here for home births, one from Bedford and the other from Bloomington. However, home birth is not an option for everyone. In 2019, we only have one Certified Nurse Midwife catching babies at one Evansville area hospital.
So what is the big deal? Midwives are experts in normal pregnancy and birth. According to the Midwives Alliance of North America “all midwives are trained to provide comprehensive prenatal care and education, guide labor and birth, address complications, and care for newborns.” Midwives are not surgeons, and all obstetricians are, which fundamentally changes the way that they approach your care. The Midwifery Model of Care “whether practiced in clinics, private homes, hospitals or birth centers, has at its core the characteristics of being with women, listening to women, and sharing knowledge and decision-making with women” (MANA). Midwives expect pregnancy and birth to be normal and watch out for signs that pregnancy, labor, and delivery might need intervention. That is not the same approach as an Obstetrician, and if you want to read more about the comparison or some social science research about this I highly recommend this book and especially this article and this one too from Robbie Davis-Floyd. She is the most renowned anthropological expert when it comes to this stuff!
Midwives have also been proven time and time again to be linked to better outcomes for their patients. People who use midwives for their care are THREE TIMES more likely to be satisfied with their care when compared with obstetrician-led care. Midwifery care has also been shown to be the most cost effective care in the hospital setting.
Who cares? Well, I do, and I’m not alone. I chose midwifery care for myself when I delivered my babies in Cleveland. As a doula, I regularly get asked for recommendations about providers, and I can’t even count the number of disappointed people I have talked to when I tell them that there is only one midwife here in town available to catch babies in one hospital. There are plenty of factors that go into choosing a provider, including insurance, location, practice style, personality, and so much more. While one midwife is certainly better than none, people choosing to birth here surely deserve more options. We need more midwives in Southwest Indiana.
For a little comparison, just down the road in Owensboro, KY there are 4 Certified Nurse Midwives catching babies at the hospital. Owensboro has a population of around 60,000. Evansville has a population of >115,000! If we include the populations of the surrounding 5 counties (Gibson, Posey, Spencer, Vanderburgh, & Warrick) We have a local population of over 320,000 people, and we know that there are people traveling here from Northern Kentucky, Eastern Illinois, and even further counties in Indiana to give birth, and they aren’t even included in that population count! Not every pregnancy and birth here needs to be attended by a surgeon. Yes, family practice physicians are also an excellent option, and there are some great ones here, but midwifery care is more specialized and has a different approach than the medical model of birth.
Southwest Indiana needs midwives, and we have some currently working to complete their training. As I sit writing this I know three midwives who are currently in school and planning to practice here when they graduate. Two will be Certified Nurse Midwives who catch babies in the hospital and one will be a Certified Professional Midwife who attends home births. Growing families deserve options for their care, and these midwives will be an amazing addition to our community when they are finished with their training. I can’t wait for the day when birthing families in Southwest Indiana have more midwives to support them as they grow.
Have you ever considered hiring a midwife instead of a physician for your pregnancy, birth, and postpartum care?
Pregnancy is not always sweet smiles, glowing skin, and thick beautiful hair, sometimes it is vomiting multiple times a day, exhaustion and shooting pains down the back of your leg when you move. In today’s blog post I want to be real about pregnancy and give a few tips for what you can do for these 3 specific things: nausea, exhaustion, & sciatica. These were my 3 biggest complaints as a pregnant person, and I honestly want people to know that you are not a whiner if you are experiencing these 3 things and don’t know what to do. I want to give you practical tips for taking care of these on your own and how to know when to seek out help.
My first pregnancy complaint was nausea. I hate that we call it “morning sickness” when it honestly can last all day long. Most people experience the greatest nausea in the first trimester, but I got really lucky to be able to experience it until I was 25-ish weeks. I certainly know it could have been worse; hyperemesis gravidarum is no joke! My best tips for getting through nausea are to keep healthy high protein snacks on hand, drink plenty of water, and don’t let your stomach ever be empty. If you are having acid reflux or heartburnissues, I always like to recommend papaya enzymes, which can be found at most health food stores locally in a chewable form and for not much money. If you are having trouble keeping any food down and are experiencing symptoms of dehydration, talk to you provider about other things that might be helpful, which can include medications.
Exhaustion for me personally was a big problem as well. I was in graduate school while pregnant both times. Naps were honestly the very best thing for me, but they aren’t always possible when you are working and/or taking care of other kids. I get that. Sometimes even when you get a full 8 hours of sleep, growing a human takes all the energy you have and you don’t have any extra left to give by the end of the day. I always like to recommend getting up and moving around to give yourself an energy jolt. Stretch your legs. Get some fresh air. Splash cold water on your face. Some people drink a little caffeine, but you’ll want to figure out what works best for your situation.
Finally, I want to talk about sciatica. Have you ever moved just to have a pain shoot from the very top of your leg all the way down the back of your leg to your foot. That is sciatica. I suffered with sciatica during both of my pregnancies, and I personally found stretching and a regular yoga practice to be the most effective ways to keep the sciatica away.
We have some really amazing local options for prenatal yoga that I know and trust! Having spoken with the instructors for these 3 different courses I can tell you that they know what they are doing, are trained, knowledgeable, and compassionate instructors who can help you relieve some of those aches and pains as well as helping reinforce that mind-body connection.
If your pain persists or worsens, it is always a great idea to speak to your provider and they may even refer you to a physical therapist who can help you.
The best news I can tell you is that for most of these pregnancy pains, there is a cure: birth. The best way to get rid of pregnancy induced anything, is to not be pregnant anymore, and that happens to everyone eventually. I won’t even tell you that you have to enjoy your pregnancy. Pains like this certainly can make pregnancy really unbearable, but I promise that hating the process of growing a baby inside of your body does NOT make you a bad parent. You can love your baby without loving the pains of pregnancy.
Want more personalized tips for getting through your pregnancy pains and local resources? Contact us today for an interview.
I have stopped giving random advice to pregnant people that do not ask for it, essentially for two reasons. The first reason has to do with other people and the second because of me.
Everyone seems to feel entitled to give pregnant people advice, and I do not want to add to the mostly annoying cacophony.
I do not know what it is about pregnancy that makes everyone feel like they need to give you advice and tell you what to do. I know that most everyone really means well, but holy moly it can be really exhausting to be constantly bombarded by people who think they know better than you about what you should do. I won’t even get started on the horror stories that people feel obligated to tell you like they can’t stop the flow of awfulness spewing from their mouths. I have a strict no spreading trauma policy when it comes to speaking to pregnant people, and I highly encourage all clients to tune out any and all negative messages surrounding birth and parenthood, especially while you are extra vulnerable and pumped up full of hormones!
2. I know way more than most people about pregnancy, birth, babies, etc than most people, and I have a tendency to go on and on about it.
I know a ton of really specific and sometimes seemingly random things that can really help people who are navigating pregnancy, planning for their upcoming birth, and getting prepared to take care of a new tiny human too. I am happy to talk about all these things all day long, and I do quite a bit, BUT not everyone wants to hear that. I respect people’s wishes and only expose my super birth geek side when requested.
As a doula and childbirth educator, I have extensively studied pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. I know where to find great evidence-based and unbiased information. I know different comfort techniques to get through labor and delivery. I make sure to keep up on all the local resources for new families in our area including great breastfeeding support services, chiropractors who specialize in the Webster technique, prenatal yoga classes, which physicians will provide parallel care for home birth, support for victims of abuse, stores that sell green baby products, and more. I am seriously committed to life-long learning and I want to help everyone be better connected with the resources and information that they need.
I never want people to feel afraid to ask me questions. I would rather my clients ask me anything rather than sit around worrying or wondering. I make an effort to not overshare or overwhelm people. I am always happy to answer questions, especially for my clients. BUT, I can’t send you answers that you don’t ask for, and I won’t, not because I’m protecting the information, rather because I know it is really hard to sip from a fire hose and it has taken me YEARS to gather all this information that you are trying to digest in 40-ish weeks.
What was the worst unsolicited advice you ever received about birth?
Support you and your family how you want to be supported.
End of list.
Yes, seriously.
As a doula, I listen and follow your lead. If you want information about anything pregnancy or birth related, I am happy to help you find great and unbiased information about all your options. I love answering pregnancy and birth questions, but make a big effort not to inject my opinion into any of it. That is because my opinion about what you should do is pretty much irrelevant. I do not tell people what to do, and completely understand that there is no one right way that works for every birthing family and every situation.
Most people only think of the physical support a doula can offer, and that is certainly part of the job description, but it definitely is not all of it. I hold space for my clients to give them room to think things through and listen to their gut without an audience. I talk through tough decisions and help you get to the root of your desires for your birth. I am an empathetic ear when you are frustrated, excited, anxious, worried, elated, exhausted, etc. I also don’t have ALL the answers, but I am really great at helping people wade through the sea of information out there to find excellent sources and resources too.
In my 5+ years as a doula, my practice has certainly changed, but my #1 goal has always been steadfast, and I don’t ever imagine it will change! I have no agenda for your birth; I only want your family to feel fully supported as you would like to be. I truly strive to check any bias I might carry and leave it outside of the space of your blossoming family.
Would you like to have an extremely knowledgeable, experienced, and compassionate person in your contact list and at your birth? If you said yes, then I would love to talk to you about birth doula services!
When you hire a doula, you get so much more than just a professional attending your birth! From the time that I am hired by my clients, they essentially have access to all the resources and information I have for them, with my cell phone number to call or text. Pregnancy and birth can be stressful, and part of what I do as a doula is help mitigate that stress with answers to your questions!
There are all kinds of costs to the doula for both being a doula and for attending your birth. A few that come to mind right now are training and continuing education, professional memberships, childcare, gas money, supplies for your doula bag and office, software, website, etc. The BIGGEST costs to me as a doula are ones that many people don’t think about though: my TIME and my FREEDOM!
What does it mean to be on call, really?
Being on call means that I have to be ready to drop my life and go help my client at any moment. I have to have childcare lined up for my children at all hours, and honestly that is one of the biggest barriers for many people who want to practice as a doula. Let me illustrate with a story.
Recently my husband had to leave town for a work trip. It was a last minute meeting at an office 3 hours north of where we live, and he was going to be gone from 6:30am that morning until 10pm that night. My children are in elementary school, so I have the ability to take them to care at school at 6:30am and I can pay for them to stay there until 6pm. I knew that if I was at a birth, my husband could drop them off at school before he left, but what if I was at a birth past 6pm and couldn’t pick them up in time? I made arrangements for a babysitter to come to my house from the time my children get off the bus at 3:20pm until my husband came home at 10pm. Then my babysitter had to cancel at the last minute, and I had to call someone else to babysit but she could only be there until 7pm when she had a meeting. I had a gap in childcare from 7-10pm that I had to get covered. Thankfully we have family here in town who was willing to be on call just in case I needed help, but please trust me when I say that I know how lucky we are, and that not everyone has that kind of help available to them. All of this childcare was completely contingent on whether or not my client went into labor. I didn’t even know if I was going to need it, but I certainly had to have it in place just in case I needed to go help my client.
Childcare isn’t the only barrier that people who want to work as a doula have, and it certainly isn’t the only stress I have as a doula, but it is most definitely one of the hidden stresses that clients don’t even realize doulas have to navigate all of the time. Contingent childcare is also not free for everyone by the way; I know many doulas that pay a retainer fee for babysitters to be at the ready at all times. Not everyone has family members that they can call just in case they have to go to a birth. What happens if my husband has to travel out of town over night? In that case I have to have a babysitter who is able to come to my house at ANY hour to watch my children so I can leave them and help my clients.
I have to be available at any time for my clients. Please appreciate the fact that yes, that does mean that I get phone calls at 3am to leave the house and go meet my clients wherever they are. When I leave the house to meet a client, I have no idea when I will be coming back or how long I will be working. Birth is unpredictable like that. Sometimes I barely make it to a precipitous birth and sometimes I am there for 2 days. There is absolutely no way I can know how long I will be gone before I go!
I am on-call for my clients from the time that they are 38 weeks pregnant until they have the baby. Sometimes they have the baby before 38 weeks and I still go help them. Sometimes they don’t have the baby until 42 weeks and 3 days, and I still go help them. I can’t travel more than an hour away from home during that time period. I can’t flit away for a weekend trip with my husband. I can’t go anywhere where I don’t have a cell phone signal for my clients to be able to contact me. Every single plan I make ends with the phrase, “as long as I’m not at a birth,” and my friends all know that. It is NOT easy!
Can’t I just call someone else to help?
Yes, that is a possibility, but again, this is a stress on a doula that many clients don’t understand. Calling someone else means that I have made an arrangement for that person to help my client during a specified time period. Maybe I have concert tickets and will be out of town for 12 hours to attend the concert. Calling in a backup doula means that I not only pay part of my fee to that doula to be on call for me for that specified amount of time, but I’m also making sure my client has met the potential backup doula before I even go and trusting my client with that doula if they happen to have a baby during that time period that I am unavailable–no matter how short. There have to be doulas available in the area, during that time period, who I unconditionally trust. How many people do you trust to do your job?
I have yet to meet a birth doula that is raking in the money. Yes, my fee can give some people sticker shock at first, but I am confident that it is the right one for my services, knowledge, and experience. I have done market research and even taken a class about how to set my fee. I know what I am giving up as a doula when I take on each client. I know that I sacrifice my time and freedom to help others, and I choose to continue doing it because I love my job helping families bring babies into the world. I also know that all of my work isn’t done in the room where birth happens. I have prenatal meetings with clients, answer all kinds of questions during pregnancy, during birth, and in the postpartum period. I bring all of my knowledge and experience to each encounter I have with my clients. I love my job, but I really wish that more people understood what all goes into the price of a doula and the price that we pay to be doulas. Don’t feel sorry for doulas because of how hard our job is, but DO try to understand where we are coming from when we set that price.
