Tag: Doula Life

3 Reasons to Hire a Doula

There are a million reasons that people hire a doula, and I’m only listing three here. As I have written before, families deserve support and doulas know a few things that can help you along the way. I love winning over the skeptics. I honestly find that many of the partners who were skeptical in the first place become the doula’s biggest fan when they meet us and see us in action. Birth and postpartum can be challenging; doulas are here to help.

1. Personalized Care

When you hire a doula you are getting a pregnancy, birth, and postpartum BFF who knows all kinds of great information and resources to send you. Doulas get to know you and what you want for your birth and the beginning of your life with a new baby. Sometimes you scour the internet and ask in parent groups online only to find conflicting and confusing advice. A doula can help you sift through that information for what you really need, what is evidence-based, and what will help you toward your own personal goals. We know about about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

2. Navigation

Navigating the healthcare system is challenging, and doulas can help with that too. When you hire a doula you get a professional person who knows the trail and can help you navigate the twists and turns. We have worked with many of the local providers in Evansville and Owensboro, and I always joke that we know all the stuff on the secret menu too. What I mean is that knowing the right things to request at the hospital can be extra helpful.

3. Zero Judgement

Hiring a doula means you have a completely non-judgemental person with professional support training and zero personal interest, because that is good and important thing. Doulas are there to serve you without agenda. We know our opinion is irrelevant and we are there to serve the birthing person and their partner. So no matter if you are planning to get an epidural as soon as possible, birthing at home with a midwife, or planning a scheduled cesarean, we can help.

Don’t take my word for it…

“Couples often wonder if they should hire a doula. Maybe your friends had wonderful births and didn’t hire a doula, why should you? All I can say is that doulas are like guides for the trek of labor. They know the landscape, are familiar with the people, sights, and sounds, and know special tricks that just might help you over a peak or through a valley or help facilitate that magical experience that lands firmly in your memory forever. And doulas are there for the whole family. They support partners, too, helping them understand what’s going on, get food, rest, and much needed breaks, and they can also guide partners in better ways to support the laboring parent. You do not have to go it alone. There are others who have trekked before you and know the way. Ask them for help.” (Transformed by Birth by Dr. Britta Bushnell, p136)

The path may be well worn, but sometimes having a doula can make it more enjoyable. Hire a doula to help you move around and suggest position changes. Hire a doula so your partner can go to the bathroom without leaving you alone. Maybe everything medical makes your partner nauseous. If you want someone there to go through it all with you, hire a doula. A doula works for you and nobody else, and that can be invaluable on one of the biggest days of your life.

Childbirth Education Improves Outcomes

A recent study found that taking a childbirth education class improves birth outcomes. People who took a childbirth education class in this study were three times more likely to have a vaginal birth. Taking a childbirth education class helps improve confidence and skills for coping with labor and delivery. Childbirth education is still important, no matter what kind of birth you are planning.

Group & Private Classes Available

Coping with Labor Naturally is a 3 hour group class that covers the basics you need. The next one will be Saturday February 8th, 9am-noon, and you can sign up here. I will also teach this class in April, July, & October in 2020, so stay tuned if you are interested but not quite ready to sign up yet. This is a great class to bring your partner so they can learn ways to help you in labor. You will also learn which tools to bring with you and which to request when you get to the hospital.

If group classes aren’t your thing, maybe a full private childbirth education class would be right for you. Full private childbirth education classes have 6 hours of private instruction in your home or at my office space. I am a Lamaze certified childbirth educator who only uses evidence-based information. Yes, we will talk about the hee-hee-hoo-hoo breathing, but I cover everything from pregnancy nutrition to birthing positions to postpartum healing. I’m also an experienced birth doula, so I know the ins and outs of the local birthing scene too. This 6 hour class comes with a 96 page spiral-bound book of handouts and articles packed full of information for parents too!

I also have the option of a private 3 hour birth planning only session. This class is easy to customize for your needs and specific situation. I’m happy to cover whichever topics you might be interested in learning about, and help you come up with a plan. This is a great option for people who might be shy or have a very specific situation that needs specific information. This is also a great option for those birthing at home, who might want all the comfort techniques and help writing a transfer birth plan. Contact us directly to schedule a class and get more information!

Online Options

Maybe you’re really busy and would prefer an online option? Lamaze has some great online courses that are inexpensive and evidence-based.

  • FREE Labor Confidence with Lamaze Course here
  • Safe & Healthy Birth: Six Simple Steps here
  • Labor Pain Management: Techniques for Comfort and Coping here
  • Breastfeeding Basics: From Birth to Back to Work here
  • Bringing Home Baby here
  • Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC): Informed and Ready here

There are other online courses as well that I like, but I will say that most people benefit from some in-person, hands-on learning too. No matter how you choose to learn, taking the time to prepare for childbirth is a GOOD thing to do. Refreshing your knowledge and skills, even if this isn’t your first birth, are also good uses of your time and energy. I’m always happy to recommend books to read too! Childbirth education is important. Childbirth education is helpful. Childbirth education is worth your time.

15 Doula Lessons from 2019

As an experienced birth doula learning is important to me, and I grow with each birth I attend!

Every single birth I attend is an opportunity to serve a family. I am always honored to be invited into that space. With more than 5 years under my belt as a birth doula, I still feel like I learn things each time. Even as I inch closer to 150 births attended, I am always in awe of the process and my amazing clients. I will never feel like I have seen it all, and this year definitely brought some surprises. Instead of posting statistics about how many births I have attended, I prefer to post about doula lessons that I have learned this past year. Some of these have reinforced things I learned previously, and others have challenged me in new ways. This year has been interesting in so many ways, and I love that I keep growing and learning along the way.

Here is my list of 15 doula lessons in no particular order:

1. In childbirth, faster is not always easier.

2. I don’t have to agree with all of your decisions to support you.

3. A little determination goes a very long way for labor and delivery.

4. Communication and trauma informed care are not taught to all medical providers.

5. Rice socks smell like burnt popcorn if you microwave them for too long.

6. Home birth can be beautiful beautiful beautiful! Make sure to remind people to PRACTICE with their birthing tub at home!

7. Things I may view as traumatic, may not be viewed the same as my client. Don’t project my views onto other people’s memories. Recovering from a challenging birth is really important for me, physically AND emotionally.

8. Sometimes I burst into tears at the magnificence of it all, and that is ok.

9. Repeat clients are seriously, just the best! VBACs are pretty amazing too.

10. Watch the partner’s face; those glimpses of true joy and love are amazing!

11. LISTEN to the birthing person; their opinion matters.

12. Sometimes clients still surprise me with their ferocity, and I LOVE that!

13. Amazing providers who give individualized care and continue to consider experience and preference over standard operating procedure give me hope! All the preparation in the world cannot make up for an unsupportive provider.

14. Trusting my doula gut when it says GO is still the right thing to do.

15. Patience is undervalued and wholly necessary.

2019’s doula lessons were not easy, and this is certainly not going to be a year that I will soon forget. As I grow in my doula knowledge and skills I am also constantly reminded of how much I really don’t know. These doula lessons all help to increase my confidence and capacity to deal with new situations, hopefully with grace and humility.

2019: Connection & Growth

A year for transition has been excellent for growing and connecting with so many new people.

Every year I pick a focus word, and for 2019 I chose: connection. It has felt like a year for transition for my business for many reasons, and I am looking forward to some exciting new connections and growth in the new year. Before we get there though, I think it is important to look back and recognize what was accomplished in 2019.

I started the connections of 2019 by orchestrating an entire blog series connecting with other great local businesses! This even included 2 giveaways to local businesses, and I am looking forward to hopefully coordinating more in 2020. I taught a new class this year on natural coping techniques for labor and delivery, and it seemed to go over really well with the students. I did not teach any group childbirth classes, but I did teach some private childbirth education courses. I had a few speaking engagements as well at Common Grounds connecting and growing with fellow entrepreneurs and at Central High School with students too!

Making connections and growing with fellow doulas and childbirth professionals was also an important priority for me in 2019. I hosted a certified lactation educator training, a birth doula training, and a TENS training for doulas in 2019. I helped plan a meet the doulas evening where we hosted potential clients who came to ask us all kinds of questions. Some of my favorite conversations happened around my kitchen table at our doula gatherings too, and those connections are always extra special. Additionally, I became a member of the Southwest Indiana Breastfeeding Coalition, and that has been really great way to learn, connect, and grow with all kinds of local lactation professionals too.

I made connections and grew through learning and the wider profession a priority in 2019. I continued serving on the data collection subcommittee of the advocacy committee of DONA International, my certifying organization. I attended and received continuing education at 5 online conferences through GOLD Learning. I presented and attended the Evidence Based Birth Conference in Lexington, KY. I reviewed three books for the Lamaze International blog this year too. I also cultivated connections with the whole wide world through the launch of The Birth Geeks Podcast with my friend and doula mentor Robin Elise Weiss.

All of these connections and growth, local to international, doula to client, brain to information, face to face, they have all been so very special to me. I am proud of the work I have done this year, and I haven’t even started talking about my connections with my amazing clients. (That’s for my next blog post.) 2019 has been a special year as I have stepped whole-heartedly forward and grown with each new connection that I have made. These connections have sometimes been hard won, but I would not trade them for the world. Thank you to every single person whose connections have been invaluable to my amazing year.

Families Deserve Support

The continuous support of a doula is supported by science!

The continuous support of a doula is an evidence-based approach to improve outcomes, decrease intervention, & increase satisfaction. Multiple scientific studies and committee opinions have concluded that doulas make a difference! This is an easy to read summary of the evidence if reading academic text isn’t your thing. As a birth doula, I believe that all birthing families deserve support, and not just on the big day.

These are the kinds of support that I have been able to provide for my clients in the past:

Prenatal

Knowing what all the local options are for prenatal care and planning for birth. Calming fears is another thing I do to support my clients in the prenatal period, and this comes in many forms, but most often through education. I also find myself supporting clients prenatally by connecting them with trusted professionals. This can be for all kinds of things including prenatal massage, chiropractic, and more. I also am happy to share my shopping tips when clients are looking for specific things!

Birth

As a doula, during birth I am giving physical support by helping my clients move around. I give hand massages and help keep their gown closed as we walk the halls. I also like to say that I help clients ask more questions about their care. This is part of helping them know what all their options are as well. I like to say that sometimes I help them order off the secret menu of options that aren’t necessarily the norm, but are perfectly fine to request.

One area that I wish I could support birthing families better here is during cesarean surgeries. All families deserve support, and it can be so hard for families when their plans go sideways. In many other places in the United States, they allow doulas in the operating room as a second support person. Doulas are even trained in how to behave inside an operating room, and how to support clients having a cesarean. Doulas are not currently allowed in operating room of all our local hospitals, but maybe we can change that in the future.

Postpartum: direction to proper resources & support!!

The most important thing that I can do for birth doula clients is to direct them to the people who are actual experts in the things that they are dealing with in the moment. If they have questions about breastfeeding, I make sure I send them to an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. That is just one example, but knowing WHO to ask questions is really important. Breastfeeding is a great example because so many people don’t really understand how little training most physicians have in breastfeeding science, and they end up getting non-evidence-based advice despite best intentions by everyone involved. Part of my job as a doula is helping clients connect to the right people for whatever questions they might have. I don’t always have the answers, but I do make it my business to know who to send you to.

I have not had the capacity to serve postpartum clients this year, but VERY soon, I am going to have an announcement coming, so be on the lookout for that in early 2020!

All families deserve the support of a doula. Part of my job is helping insure you get the right support at the right time from the right people. I’m constantly learning, so I can continue to know the best local and online resources for my clients.

What was the most helpful resource you found to help you after you brought your new baby home?

I Remember

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

I remember the overwhelming feeling of gut-wrenching sadness that washed over me when I saw your parents faces knowing that they were not going to get to meet you because you were already gone.

I remember being so worried that I would say the wrong thing to them, when holding space for their experience and pain was really the most important thing I could do.

I remember seeing your sweet face that looked like them, counting your toes, and learning words I never wanted to need to know.

I remember crying right along with your parents and almost every single other person in that room as the pain of wondering what could have been leaked out of our eyes.

I remember that you were so LOVED. We all couldn’t stop looking at your beautiful face.

I remember the sobs that followed when you left the room so the nurse could get you wrapped in a blanket. Bless those amazing nurses for walking this path with families far more often than I ever have had to and with exemplary grace and reverence.

I remember realizing that birth and death are so much more closely linked than I ever realized before you were born sleeping, and I will always feel bonded to your parents in a way that we never would have wished. You were love and abject sorrow wrapped in a tiny baby blanket, and we were all changed by you. Your footprints will forever be on my heart.

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and today we remember all the families who have suffered one of the most tremendous losses imaginable. As a doula, I am honored to hold space for you.

I remember RG & DT!

1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

Who do you remember?

4cms is NOT Active Labor

Active labor starts at 6 centimeters

Many moons ago, we thought that once you reached 4cms, you were in “active labor” and the pace of your labor should start to pick up and keep going no matter what. In 2010 Zhang and colleagues published a groundbreaking research study that re-examined labor patterns and redefined the beginning of active labor as starting at 6 centimeters! This was a HUGE academic smack-down of the 50+ year standard of Friedman’s curve that defined active labor as starting at 4cms.

Why does it matter? The BIGGEST reason physicians were recommending cesarean section in 2011 was “arrest of labor” or “failure to progress” and apparently they were making the call far too early! You can read more about that whole thing here. After this study was published, the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) came out with this position paper saying, whoa, let’s slow down this trend in the rise of cesarean births, and even outlined why and how. That position has since be reaffirmed multiple times by ACOG, BUT, I am still not seeing all local providers using this evidence in their practice and I still hear some providers and staff telling people that they are in active labor when they are 4cms. Look, your Aunt Becky might not know the evidence, but you surely hope the people taking care of you are up to date on best practices from 5+ years ago right?

The evidence is clear: If you are 4cms dilated, you are NOT in fact, in active labor. Your labor still has a chance to stall out or even stop. While that is frustrating news if you are in that position, it is also good information to have in case someone might suggest that something is wrong because labor stalls and that you need to DO something about it. Labor takes time and patience. If you are not in active labor yet, leaving is actually an option. (And no, your insurance will not refuse to pay, that is a myth that has been debunked many times over including here.) As long as everyone is safe and healthy, asking for more time to allow your labor to progress without unnecessarily intervening with medicine you might not need is NOT an unreasonable request. Remember to use your B.R.A.I.N (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, & Nothing or Not Now), sometimes that N of NOTHING is important to remember to request!

As your doula, it is my job to know that 6 centimeters is when active labor begins and to help you remember to ask great questions about your care! Getting to 6 cms is typically what takes the longest time, and I help people cope with getting there physically too. I promise I do try not to geek out too much while hanging with clients in labor, but it does happen.

So remember 6 centimeters is when active labor begins!

Things Doulas Know

Unsolicited advice is not my style

I have stopped giving random advice to pregnant people that do not ask for it, essentially for two reasons. The first reason has to do with other people and the second because of me.

  1. Everyone seems to feel entitled to give pregnant people advice, and I do not want to add to the mostly annoying cacophony.

I do not know what it is about pregnancy that makes everyone feel like they need to give you advice and tell you what to do. I know that most everyone really means well, but holy moly it can be really exhausting to be constantly bombarded by people who think they know better than you about what you should do. I won’t even get started on the horror stories that people feel obligated to tell you like they can’t stop the flow of awfulness spewing from their mouths. I have a strict no spreading trauma policy when it comes to speaking to pregnant people, and I highly encourage all clients to tune out any and all negative messages surrounding birth and parenthood, especially while you are extra vulnerable and pumped up full of hormones!

2. I know way more than most people about pregnancy, birth, babies, etc than most people, and I have a tendency to go on and on about it.

I know a ton of really specific and sometimes seemingly random things that can really help people who are navigating pregnancy, planning for their upcoming birth, and getting prepared to take care of a new tiny human too. I am happy to talk about all these things all day long, and I do quite a bit, BUT not everyone wants to hear that. I respect people’s wishes and only expose my super birth geek side when requested.

As a doula and childbirth educator, I have extensively studied pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. I know where to find great evidence-based and unbiased information. I know different comfort techniques to get through labor and delivery. I make sure to keep up on all the local resources for new families in our area including great breastfeeding support services, chiropractors who specialize in the Webster technique, prenatal yoga classes, which physicians will provide parallel care for home birth, support for victims of abuse, stores that sell green baby products, and more. I am seriously committed to life-long learning and I want to help everyone be better connected with the resources and information that they need.

I never want people to feel afraid to ask me questions. I would rather my clients ask me anything rather than sit around worrying or wondering. I make an effort to not overshare or overwhelm people. I am always happy to answer questions, especially for my clients. BUT, I can’t send you answers that you don’t ask for, and I won’t, not because I’m protecting the information, rather because I know it is really hard to sip from a fire hose and it has taken me YEARS to gather all this information that you are trying to digest in 40-ish weeks.

What was the worst unsolicited advice you ever received about birth?

My Goals as Your Doula

As a doula, I listen and follow your lead.

  1. Support you and your family how you want to be supported.

End of list.

Yes, seriously.

As a doula, I listen and follow your lead. If you want information about anything pregnancy or birth related, I am happy to help you find great and unbiased information about all your options. I love answering pregnancy and birth questions, but make a big effort not to inject my opinion into any of it. That is because my opinion about what you should do is pretty much irrelevant. I do not tell people what to do, and completely understand that there is no one right way that works for every birthing family and every situation.

Most people only think of the physical support a doula can offer, and that is certainly part of the job description, but it definitely is not all of it. I hold space for my clients to give them room to think things through and listen to their gut without an audience. I talk through tough decisions and help you get to the root of your desires for your birth. I am an empathetic ear when you are frustrated, excited, anxious, worried, elated, exhausted, etc. I also don’t have ALL the answers, but I am really great at helping people wade through the sea of information out there to find excellent sources and resources too.

In my 5+ years as a doula, my practice has certainly changed, but my #1 goal has always been steadfast, and I don’t ever imagine it will change! I have no agenda for your birth; I only want your family to feel fully supported as you would like to be. I truly strive to check any bias I might carry and leave it outside of the space of your blossoming family.

Would you like to have an extremely knowledgeable, experienced, and compassionate person in your contact list and at your birth? If you said yes, then I would love to talk to you about birth doula services!

Doula? A do what now?

Midwives and doulas have very different jobs!

One of the most common misconceptions that I run into as a doula is that people think that we are the same as midwives. While I have worked with some really great midwives in my time as a doula, and LOVED having midwives catch my own 2 babies, I do not want to be a midwife or be confused for one. Doula care can compliment midwifery care very well, but we certainly do not replace a midwife.

As a doula, I do a whole lot of things that can improve your pregnancy, labor, delivery, and immediate postpartum. I help you ask more (and sometimes better or more specific) questions prenatally and think through all those decisions about what you want for your delivery before it is actually the big day. I help you practice different comfort techniques and even help you know exactly what things you actually need to have for your birth and immediate postpartum period either at the hospital or home. I hold hands and help people move around, sometimes with all kinds of wires attached to them. I push on your lower back, squeeze your hips, and massage your hands during labor. I help you to the bathroom and comfort you through the challenges of labor and deliver with all kinds of affirming words. I will let you squeeze my hand and listen to the changes in your voice and demeanor for clues on how I can better help you. I do not doula the same for any two births, as each one presents its own unique set of circumstances.

Midwives provide care for healthy pregnant people prenatally, during labor and delivery, and postpartum. They approach birth differently than an Obstetrician, but essentially do all the medical things an OB can do other than surgery. Midwives view birth as a normal process and often practice watchful waiting while expecting everything to be perfectly normal and fine instead of trying to prevent things from going wrong through action. It can seem a very subtle difference in philosophy, and not all midwives take this approach, but this is the midwifery approach generally to pregnancy and birth.

  • A short and completely non-comprehensive list of things a midwife can do that I do not as a doula:
  • Check your vital signs like blood pressure and temperature
  • Order labs
  • See you for in-office prenatal visits (monthly, biweekly, then weekly)
  • Check your cervix
  • Catch your baby
  • Give you stitches
  • Check your fundal height after delivery
  • Order and administer medication

If you want to learn more about midwives, this link is a good place to start.

If you would like to learn more about doulas, you can read about us here. I would also LOVE to talk to you about my services! You can contact me through this website, via email, phone, or message me on social media–whatever you are comfortable with is fine with me. You can read reviews from previous clients and check my availability at this link as well if you would like.

I love helping my clients navigate pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, and have more than five years of experience as a doula at both hospital and home births. I have worked with some amazing midwives and OBs too. I have been to 8 different hospitals as a doula and learned all about their policies and who has which equipment. I know which cabinets have the towels and where to find the emesis basins. More than that though, I support my clients however they want to be supported, because each one is different and each situation demands different techniques and approaches.

Someone once asked me what the #1 most important quality is for a good doula. That was easy for me to answer: EMPATHY! What I may lack in midwifery clinical skills, I make up for in compassion and listening skills. Midwives and doulas can work really well together and there is definitely room for both in your chosen birthing space!